© 2013 Diana

This is England (2006)

– Them.

– Which ones?

– The big red ones.

– Oh, you’re not having them, sweetheart. Look at the size of ’em.

– Oh, come on, Mum. You said.

– No, Shaun, they look like thug boots. They’re awful.

– Come on, Mum. You promised me.

– Why don’t you get some of them that you’ve got in blue?

– Cos I don’t like these. I want them ones, Mum. Come on. You promised.

– They’ll rub on your shin. They’ll only be about that.

– Be better in my size. Come on. Where is she?

– Right. Well, that was nice timing. I spoke too soon.

– I hurt my shoulder back there. Been ferreting about for ages.

– Are you all right, love?

– Pulled something in my shoulder. Now, then, if I can just have that for a second…

– Let me have that, sweetheart.

– I want to hold it.

– I’ll just have that.

– Mum, shall I just…?

– Yeah. I’ll just put that down there. Ducky, darling, the ones that you’re looking at, these boots…

– Yeah?

– …now, they’re adult sizes and you’re a size four. But these have just come in from London. Are you ready for these? These are fantastic.

– What the…?

– Oh, look at them, Shaun. They’re absolutely lovely.

– Do you want to hold one? There.

– Oh, my God.

– They’re nice, aren’t they?

– They’re lovely, them.

– Oh, they look lovely.

– Try ’em on.

– Where’s the “Doc Marten” sign? These ones, cos they’re special and they’re from London, they don’t have the Doc Marten sign on these – they’re too special for that.

– It says “Tompkins” in it.

– The ones from London say Tompkins.

– Everywhere else say “Dr Martens”.

– I love them.

– These ones are special.

– Do you sell a lot of them?

– Yeah. Go like hot cakes. Do you want to try one on? Shall we?

– I fucking want them.

– If you swear… I’m sorry.

– It’s all right.

– Shaun, don’t swear.

– I want them ones.

– Listen, you can…

– I don’t want them.

– Chicken, don’t upset your mum, eh? Let’s try ’em on.



– Are you ready, Shaun?

– Yeah.

– Are you sure?

– Yeah.

– You don’t seem very confident.

– Just do it.

– Your mum’s not gonna come round, is she, and whack my door down?

– No. Just fricking do it.

– Right. Here we go.

– Get that mop off.

– It’s coming. It’s coming off.

– Oh, eh. Ooh! Flippin’ heck. Eh. You have a right pink head.

– We’re getting going now.

– Stop fidgeting.

– You’re doing a good job, mate.

– Oh, mate, it looks better already, that. Don’t it, Milk?

– Definitely. Definitely.

– You’re looking good.

– Head down. Oh, there’s loads of it.

– It’s just never-ending. Don’t be rough with him, Lol. He’s only a baby.

– Put your head up.

– You just told me to put it down, Lol.

– And what an hairline, girls, eh?

– Don’t forget that bit. I can see it. Honestly, mate, it’s sterling. Get it off.

– Really smart, in’t he? In’t he smart, eh?

– He does look good.

– Mate, I’m well impressed. There we go, mate. That’s you done. Look at that!

– Brush him down. He looks like a Yeti!

– Oh, mate, so smart, that. That’s good, that. Honestly, mate, you look sterling.

– So, am I in the gang now?

– Well, not yet. Get your shirt on. Let’s see your Ben Sherman.

– I… I ain’t got a Ben Sherman.

– You telling me you’ve not got a shirt?

– No.

– You told me to get jeans and the boots. Are you having a laugh?

– You can’t go out all nipply, can you? You’re gonna have to come back next week. I’ll see you, mate.

– Honestly, have I really gotta go?

– Yeah, really, really. Go on. You’re gonna have to get off. Shut t’door behind you, there’s a good lad.

– Oh, hang on, I forgot about summat. I were fucking lying! Come here and give me a big hug. Come here, fella. I’m really proud of you, mate. You look brilliant. Absolutely brilliant. Get that body covered up before t’girls go mad!

– Ooh! Amazing. Bang on.

– Lol picked that for you.

– Look at that.

– It’s a good fit, that. It’s a good fit. Let’s have a look at you. Ah, mate. What a transformation!

– He looks dead cute.

– Pleased with it?

– Look at that. Ah, mate. Bloody hell, here he is. Gadget! Look at this.

– What? Who are you? Oh-ho-ho, Shaun! Oh-ho-ho! Look at that. Come here. That’s it. Good lad, Gadge. Well done, mate.


Post a Comment

Your email is never published nor shared. Required fields are marked *


You may use these HTML tags and attributes: <a href="" title=""> <abbr title=""> <acronym title=""> <b> <blockquote cite=""> <cite> <code> <del datetime=""> <em> <i> <q cite=""> <s> <strike> <strong>